Parents who threaten to divorce each other all the time
An immigrant cousin who is failing SATs and highschool, and also has childish ideas about adulthood and doesn't want to be in America
A job that requires a 5:30 am alarm clock but has yet to yield rewards other than a constellation of acne across one's face
An early and unexpected start to her monthly cycle
A broken fucking tampon machine in both fucking bathrooms of her office
Acidic smoggy drizzle that one can only find in a city as disgusting as this one
No available taxis
No available subway seats
A kitten purchased to provide friendly companionship to a first cat, but who has thus far only achieved a tentative hissing relationship
Various coats and jackets whose sleeves have been dismembered and unraveled by above kitten
No respite from incessant mewing dredged from the bottom of this kitten's deeply vapid and innocently selfish soul.
Racking guilt as one contemplates the ethics of hating innocent selfishness, and children.
Please have all of this happen within 48 hours. Thank you for your cooperation.
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